Padma Rajagopal Tribute
Padma's Writing: Various
I'm so sorry to hear about your battles and difficulties. It's part of saying "I believe" - in anything. You get laughed at, ignored endlessly, have to, like Ushche says keep on and on and on talking, and try to sound rational even when you feel emotional...hard when this is an emotional issue in the first place. If it makes you feel any better, one of the principles of livestock raising in organic farming is allowing them to live a natural life, eat naturally, mate and raise their young, and as and when it's time to slaughter them, it's done fast and humanely. If that makes you feel any better about some of your meat-eating relatives!
It's quite as bad if you're upholding any other cause, be it religious orenvironmental, maybe that's why people become a bit nutty when they get onto their hobby horse...one has had to take too much flak. Humans have never been known for their humanity to people or creatures they don't identify with. See the way primitive and isolated tribes, not part of the unnatural human urban madness even, are kind as anything to their own people, but will casually slaughter a rival tribe, women, children and all. We should be grateful we've even evolved to a point of thinking about and questioning all this... I really think you should start looking to meet people who share your views, on the net, since youíre savvy, and have at least a few friends with whom you can plan and do some activism, since this is something you feel so strongly about, just the fact you're being proactive will make you feel better about the less understanding folks and what not. We all need our own spiritual flock, and that's why Boche attends rallies, not just classes.
Me, Iím in a bit of a depressed condition. Unless we have some really committed people sharing our life here, we are totally trapped. Nothing but the farm and documentation work is making me feel very dull indeed. Good news is that Anu and Anand will be here this weekend. I'm getting to a point where all my favourite people are family! Sounds tribal enough? I wish I had something really cheery to say...Keshav's doings and sayings?
He does things he knows he shouldn't chanting "No,no, no", his favourite word now, so as to forestall me.
Bye for now and tons of love,
Oct 11, 2000 The "lesser" creations of god
I really don't feel like sitting here and typing this mail. The reason I don't is Iíve come back from work after spending the whole day working in front of the computer all day. Today I went to work wearing my new boots that Iíd ordered - non-leather shoes specially made for people who don't want to wear animal products. Not very sleek like a lot of other shoes one finds around, smart but a bit clumpy. I wanted an opinion about how they looked, so asked Nicci. She mumbled something, but didnít really come out and say what she thought. Which means not great. Perhaps I wouldn't have chosen it myself for its looks alone, I chose it on my principles. Often I see lovely fashionable shoes and think to myself how much Iíd love to wear that, but then I tell myself I do not want it 'cos it's made out of the suffering of some poor creature. I was disappointed when I didn't get much of a reaction. But can't be helped I guess. One chooses one's principles, quite often u are alone and have few that will go along. But in the end u should be happy that u stuck to what u believed in.
I don't know why lots of things surrounding the same issue happens unwittingly in the same day. Next, in the afternoon there was this circular about the next office party. This time it's dinner and dancing 'cos it's a few people's b'days. Apparently the last time they went to this place they had loads of fun. anyway, looking thru' the menu I realised that every item of the dinner was non-veg except for the potato chips! I had to go and ask if vegetarian food could be arranged for me, she said that she would ask the restaurant and it shouldn't be a problem. But in a place like Britain where there are so many vegetarians these days, it didn't occur to anyone that there might be a vegetarian in the crowd. Ah well.......
Later, we were having a chat - discussing a restaurant booking with a specific menu request and somebody was commenting on how a lobster is killed or makes some sound or something and I was going to close my ears, didn't want to hear anymore. Thatís when they began asking me why, what and wherefore. And Nicci blurted out, "Then what do u eat?". I told her I was not vegan if that's what she thought and that there were plenty of things that I could eat. And then Brian said the usual "we can convert her, we managed to convert someone" line. They are both very nice people, but unfortunately these attitudes come out.
Then, he started joking saying that he hates the way people pluck apples and pull out potatoes 'cos I had said I hated the way animals were killed. And then they went onto discuss what all they would and wouldn't eat. I have seen many non-vegetarians do this, even in our family. it is so insensitive. it's not like we go about broadcasting our feelings or forcing others to think our way, the least people could do is to not mock us. I know many of u eat meat, but I am telling u how I feel 'cos u know me.
A lot of these people hardly know what it takes for them to have that piece of meat on the table, what untold suffering some dumb animal has to go thru'. I read about how in one of these slaughter places, some men cut open the stomach of a live sow after beating her with iron rods and took out her unborn piglets and played catch with them. This was filmed in the US by undercover animal rights people and the guys were prosecuted with charges which won't amount to much. This is just one of the millions of things that go on. I read these things and never forget these stories. They are with me when I go to bed at night and often I cannot sleep 'cos my eyes are welling with tears. Anyway, by this time I just turned away from them and continued with my own work. After awhile I went to the bathroom and couldn't stop the tears. Tears of sadness and rage. No matter how many people fight for causes like this, small battles might be won, but it hardly stops anything. it saddens me so much to know that no matter how much one fights some things will never change. if I could say kill them, but kill them peacefully without torturing them, if that was a choice I would accept it. it wouldn't be what I want, but it would be what I would choose.
that's the end of my outpour for today.
I shall mail u all later, when Iím in better spirits.
lots of love,